#thoughts dump

[rayyzcosmos]

brown kids don't go to therapy, they watch pokemon instead and play pretend haha

[genericb34ns]

Random ass (possibly unrealistic) idea:

All these Caroline divorce mods and you're only allowed to go after Caroline, why not Pierre too? like make a mod that allows you to get them divorced, and go after the both of them

the Caroline wanters get their Caroline and the 5 Pierre wanters out there can get their Pierre

its a win-win! the idea is rather complicated, but a man can dream

[la-fleurdumal]

I wish I could fear death

I strive for a life that makes me want to live it more. Death remains my good friend, calling me into her embrace. She feels like a hug, a hug we crave after a long day, a dark and beautiful mystery, a misunderstood beauty.

I want to unfriend her, make her repulsive while I'm being embraced by the light of life. I want her to be the only fear that I have left, a soft and gentle fear that tells me I am okay right now and that I don't want it to end. An innocent fear that would represent my love for life.

I don't want to be frighten by my new old friend, I simply want to be scared to go back to hearing her quiet call. But here I am, hearing her in the midst of my every hour.

Can you leave me, abandon me like humans do ? I usually fear abandonment but from you, I wish it. I'm only trying to survive with hope that one day I'll be fine. Can you release me ? We will find each other again one day , a day I wish to be far from now. That's like I want to believe at least, that I wish it.

I will still admire your mysterious beauty, I hope you'll be gentle when I comeback to you after a long time, but please stop calling me, for now. Stop feeding on me. Let me breathe.

[ciaramichellee1]

I want to do it right.

I want to be 50 years into a marriage with a man who still looks at me like he couldn’t of chosen better. A man who genuinely, to his core, say’s I was and would always be worth every situation, every argument, every hard time.

I want a man who is facsinated by my mind and interested in knowing me. Even when asking him to understand is an impossible task to achieve, someone who decides to still try knowing he might never succeed.

I want a man that I can love loudly, proudly. Who doesn’t make me feel like all my love, all the time is too much or something he could get bored of.

I want a man that appreciates being appreciated. Who wants to be cared for and lets me take care of him.

I want a man to go to his deathbed proud of the partner he chose in his life.

I want something so fleeting and temporary, as this life, to be everlasting in the soul. I want to feed the soul of a man and have my spirit nourished in return.

I want to do it right.

[sh0rus]

Pluto and Charon.

Locked in an eternal waltz.

Always facing each other, never looking away.

Pluto however has its heart hidden, looking away from Charon.

Even thought they have always been and will forever be together.

Locked in an eternal waltz.

[willowkatt]

okay but what if Gabriel didn't actually wish for his wife to come back, but instead wished for the Peacock miraculous to never be broken and in return the Butterfly miraculous to be broken, hence why Nathalie is seen alive as well and the blue energy/spark seen at the end is the Butterfly miraculous showing it self broken as it happens right after Lila/Cerise puts it on

[robintruther]

stephanie as only been a really independent character since her first appearance, she takes things into her own hands even when others around her don't want her too. While a lot of this independence stems from her home life as a child, auther being in jail for most of it, abusive when he was out and her mom being an addict and probably severely depressed, she was most likely left on her own for most of her kid years..

 I like to think some of this independence sparks from being inspired from batman. The idea of steph seeing him as something great as a kid only to realize how he actually is when she grows up and meets him makes me ill

she gets inspired by him running across the roofs to stop badguys, that she wants to stop her own personal badguy, the baddest of them all to her the one that hurts her most, her dad. she does that all on her own from sewing the suit, to making the clues, to getting the equipment. she asks for help but not directly. why would she? she never asked for help directly before, shes always done it on her own

[aphonicchaos]

So all of it will heal one day or I will just get used to it?

[transgriffin]

I am a huge Kaijū fan, and I remember reading something a few years ago that explained the meaning of Kaijū, and I'm paraphrasing:

"Kaijū means something akin to "weird beast", and Daikaijū is the gigantifying form for that. In reality they are somewhat tragical beings. Too large, too strong, too heavy for their surroundings, ending up unintentionally destructive, and hated for it."

Watching the Nimona movie I was delighted, DELIGHTED I tell you, to see this reflected so damn well in Nimona's dark form. Everyone around her was freaking the fuck out, pointing at the damage she was causing, but we as the viewers can see that most of the damage was done because of the HUMAN attacks launched against her. She gets shot by missiles and tumbles against a building. It's not her fault nor her goal to cause destruction, because the only thing she is out to destroy and kill is herself in her endless heartbreak from being feared and rejected and unseen.

She reminded me a lot of the original 1954 Godzilla (Gojira), who was described as being a creature driven into an insane rampage from the excruciating pain it endured from its cancerous transformation under the effects of nuclear radiation, a result of humanity's abuse of nuclear power. The spikes on his back were originally conceptualized as cancerous growths, torturing him with pain. Humanity itself created the destructiveness of Godzilla and brought it down onto itself. Yet Godzilla was blamed for it all - and killed.

As a person who's lived through seemingly endless rejection, being misunderstood, scapegoated and blamed, punished for self-defense, shamed and hated for existing, I feel a deep connection with both Godzilla and Nimona and I love them. I feel seen through their stories.

While I was watching Nimona, a sentence formed inside my mind: "Fear is the monster, hatred the demon". Remember Princess Mononoke? How gods turned into demons like stricken by a viral disease? I don't remember the name of the male protagonist of the movie, but I will never forget the scene where he pointed out that the demon that was eating up his body was called hatred.

Honorable mention: King Kong, the old tale about the destructiveness of fear, prejudice and human greed.

[ier0-blood]

pretty odd is my Roman Empire. My end all be all. The end of the world. My heaven would be to live in the world listening to pretty odd takes me to. I need to be there sososo bad.

[rayyzcosmos]

have you ever cried so hard and loud that you can feel the physical pain in your heart and it hurts so much that you can't even breathe? you gasp for air but your lungs just couldn't hold the oxygen and you fall on your knees, crying like hell, begging for this pain to stop, pleading to god to just let you die and let this be end because you are just so tired of everything, always, and its the loop you're stuck into, because at the end you will be the only one left with all the misery and sadness. you will be the one who is always hurting and there is no end to this because all of your life, for as long as you remember, you have been sad and you're so tired now. so you just want to disappear, forever.

[failing-at-failing]

My horrible awful trait is how HOT I think a a southern accent is and a cowboy hat looks on a person. Oh my god I'm done. I'm jelly. Anyways consider Astarion in a cowboy hat oh my heavens, good golly, ohhh boy

[c1028h]

fighting games thoughts

so im writing this waiting for my bus to go to work but I just don't really have anyone to dump my current obsessions so I'm just gonna write here instead. a few months ago I stumbled upon a tiktok video of the game guilty gear strive, but I didn't pay much attention except the fact that the game had some really interesting characters. now, fighting games were always a part of my life, it was a way of connecting with my father since he really enjoyed them too, a few that really stood out in my childhood were killer instinct, mortal kombat (a bunch of them, but mainly the ps3 one),

street fighter, the teen titans game on the cartoon network website, anyway, I loved them. but sometime in my life I stopped playing them and forgot about it, I always saw people playing mortal kombat when the 10 released, and then when the 11 released, but it never sparkled the joy in my to play again (also this thing was expensive as fuck). a few weeks ago I stumbled upon guilty gear strive again on my tiktok, but this time since I'm working I actually have the founds to afford a game on steam lol. I looked it up about some fighting games and got interested in a few of them.. guitly gear strive, tekken 7 and street fighter 5 or 6. now, even though street fighter has some characters I really loved like chunli, cammy, menat, juri, vega, it didn't really sparked anything in me.. tekken at the time was a little strange to me since the game is in 3d and the characters kinda looked like the sims ngl, so the option i had was guilty gear strive, it had some characters I thought it looked cool like bridget, testament, i-no, axl, anji, zato-1, may, anyway, you get the point, the game was also in 2d, which was a little more comfortable to me since all the experience I had was in 2d games, it had a big community of people that could teach me and play with me, so I bought that, the expanded editions to be fancy~. the game is really fun, it has some really cool machanics and its making me see fighting games in a way I never did before, all I did before was smash as much buttons as I could and hope my opponent didn't smashed the buttons before me, but now I'm starting to understand the fundamentals.. blocking, punishing, countering, frame data and all of that, I'm not good by any means, actually I started the online part at floor 6 and now im in floor 3, but thats part of the process I guess.. the problem is, I didn't stopped searching about other fighting games, and that made me regret a bit not buying tekken 7, the community was a lot bigger, it had characters that looked cool but not in a supernatural way, in a normal fighting way, like xiaoyu, lili, leo, katarina, asuka, eddy, hwoarang, lee, zafina, anyway, the list was gigantic, so after a week of debating if I should buy tekken or not I bought it, yesterday.. I didn't had any time at all to play since im in the end of my semester and working everyday on the afternoon (I'm fucking exhausted).. (I did a pause on writing, this is two nights after I started), so.. like I said I bought tekken 7 to try out since the idea of playing was really cool, and it is really cool, but like I said I don't have any fucking time ri3848u83.. but my semester is now ending and im a little free, so I'm using this time that I have to play Yakuza 0 and guilty gear strive, today I started playing with milia rage and I'm kinda obsessed.. a woman that can fight with her hair? that's peak pop diva queer icon to me.. she's like madonna of fighting games tbh.. I'm now really invested in playing more games, I bought the Yakuza collection on gog cause it was extremely cheap and mortal kombat x + 11 at 90% discount, gotta make the pennies I got as a salary count, after that I wanna play resident evil, I used to play re4 with my cousin he was kinda obsessed so we would play a whole weekend of re4 and tony hawk's lol.. I also wanna play devil may cry which is I game I used to own but never played.. anyway I just wanted to dump all these ideas somewhere and thought maybe this is the most appropriate place? I guess..

[let-me-be-soft]

OK not to be completely unhinged, but I'm just thinking about Sandra-Lyn and Fig again.

Like Sandra-Lyn dropped out of high school her SENIOR YEAR to join an adventuring party.

The fully adult and married person in the party begins an affair and when it all comes out turns their back on her, smeers her name, keeps her from ever working with another party. Her entire future falls apart. She moves on, she falls in love with Gilear, they get married, he loves her and moves for her. She has an affair. She puts it behind her, she doesn't tell anyone, because she remembers what happened the last time. And everything is fine until Figs horns sprout.

And then her daughter hates Gilear, and she thinks it's all her fault. And Fig keeps asking who her dad is, and she refuses to name names because she won't be the person to smeer someone's name, and she doesn't want Fig to spiral the same way she has.

And it's not working because Fig is a rock star now, and she's a warlock with her bio dad, and she lives with Gilear most of the time, and she's dating men twice her age. And all Sandra-Lyn can think is that Fig is becoming her despite everything, and that Fig hates her.

And then her teenage daughter asks her to come on an adventure with her. Something she never thought she would do again. Something a younger her would never have thought to do for someone else.

I just think about that moment in episode 1 of sophomore year. And now, knowing everything we do know, how much that must have meant to Sandra-Lyn.

[diaryofsheets]

Lately, my heart has been carrying a feeling of emptiness for a while. I usually love birthdays, and I thought mine would make me feel better. But surprisingly, it made me even emptier. I confided in my twin soul, and she comforted me. She created a safe space for me to share and told me it's okay to embrace what I'm going through.

In the morning, I had a breakdown and Simran accidentally fell from her bed, which made me laugh uncontrollably (I can't stop thinking about it). This got me thinking, we often expect to be happy on our birthdays, to feel alive and have fun. But the truth is, it's absolutely fine not to feel that way. If you're sad on your birthday, that's okay too. Once I accepted my feelings, they started to ease. They might come back in waves, but I'm now prepared to accept them.

And I am so grateful for the wonderful people who made me feel so special and loved yesterday. I am thankful my soul picked this beautiful life to go through, to feel all kinds of emotions, to be born into a world where Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez and Harry Styles exist, to know love, and to sprinkle kindness.

I cannot wait for all the surprises, lessons, experiences and new beginnings, Universe ✨